Room Sharing for Babies and Toddlers: Tips for Peaceful Sleep

Sharing a room for our children happens for a variety of reasons. Whether you're in an apartment with limited bedrooms, preparing for a new sibling, or just want your children to share a room it can feel overwhelming!

How do you keep one child from waking the other? What if they’re on different schedules? What if your toddler starts launching bedtime comedy hour just as the baby drifts off?

Let’s delve into tips to help set up our kids for room sharing and to get a game plan together to troubleshoot common bumps along the way.

Exploring readiness

Before moving your children into the same room, consider:

• Readiness: Most experts recommend that babies sleep in a parent’s room (but not bed) for the first 6–12 months to reduce the risk of SIDS. Once past this stage and sleeping relatively consistently, some families may feel comfortable moving the baby in with an older sibling.

• Sleep independence: If one child (especially the older one) is already a solid sleeper and the other is learning sleep skills, it’s often best to work on those skills first before combining rooms.

• Overnight feeds: Once baby is no longer needing overnight feeds, is also a great indicator that room sharing is possible since the babies nutritional needs are meet and we aren’t waking up the older kiddo overnight.

• Sleep Space: Do you have room to space cribs and beds apart? We also want to make sure the room is super dark and have a sound machine to soften each other’s noises. Creating a sleep environment that is sleep conducive and even a semi-private feeling, can help reduce possible disruptions.

  
  

Setting the Stage:

Preparing the room with tools to make the room sleep conducive will help manage and lower possible disruptions overnight.

1. Sounds Machine is Your MVP

A sound machine is essential when one child stirs while the other sleeps. It masks little coughs, cries, babbling, and bedtime chatter. Position the sound machine between the kids for maximum coverage and keep the volume consistent throughout the night.

2. Blackout Curtains for the Win

Our circadian sleep rhythms are affected by light. Blackout curtains help regulate their circadian rhythms and help prevent early morning wake-ups.

3. Separate Sleep Areas

Creating a visual separation will help maintain the overall quality of sleep and minimize disruptions at night. Couple of options to help create a space:

• Curtains or room dividers (keep far enough away from babies and toddlers so that they don’t pull it down on themselves)

• Bookshelves or furniture (attach to the wall)

• Facing cribs and/or bed away from each other

• Have the beds and/or cribs furthest away from each other

  
  

Schedules

One of the bigger hurdles to room sharing is having different sleep schedules. A toddler might go to bed at 7:30 PM, while your baby is still napping late into the afternoon and not ready for sleep until 8:00 PM.

Option 1: Stagger Bedtimes

If one child falls asleep faster or needs a quieter space, put them down first while the other plays quietly elsewhere. Once the first is asleep, sneak the second child in.

Option 2: Same Bedtime Routine, Slightly Different Timing

If your kids are close in age or already on similar schedules, a joint bedtime routine with slightly staggered lights-out can work well. You might read books together and then give the toddler one more story while the baby finishes feeding or soothing.

What If One Child Wakes the Other?

It happens! Here’s the good news: children tend to be deeper sleepers than we expect. That said, night wakings happen. Here’s how to troubleshoot:

1. Respond Calmly

Recommend “pausing” when they wake up to see if they can go back to sleep on their own (especially if they are not upset or making a lot of noise). If they start getting upset, then go in to assess and respond. Try not to turn on bright lights (red night lights are great) and keep the interaction simple so that it is not too engaging.

2. Practice Independent Sleep Skills First

If your baby or toddler is waking frequently and needing lots of help to fall back asleep, it may be worth building independent sleep skills before sharing a room. A child who can self settle is less likely to disturb their sibling.

3. Protect Nap and Nighttime Sleep with Temporary Separation

Sleep patterns can get disrupted from things like teething, illness or a sleep regression and it’s okay to temporarily separate them to protect everyone’s rest. This might mean one child in your room in a pack n play or in a different room using a pack n play for a few days.

Temporary room separation is just temporary! As soon as they are back to their normal sleep patterns, we can go right back to what we did prior.

Toddlers and Older Kids Sharing a Room

Older siblings have strong opinions, more mobility, and sometimes a flair for bedtime dramatics. If your toddler is suddenly hyped to have a roommate, here’s how to set the tone:

1. Prep the Older Child

Let them know what to expect:

• “Your baby brother may make some sounds during the night”

• “We’re going to use quiet voices after bedtime so everyone can sleep.”

Make them feel included and proud to be the “big helper.”

2. Set Boundaries with a Visual Guide

Use a simple bedtime rules chart or visual guide to explain expectations. Toddlers respond well to pictures and predictable routines.

Example:

• Brush teeth

• Potty

• Two books

• Lights out

• Stay in bed

Praise the behavior you want to see!

3. Let the Older Sibling know they are not Responsible for younger sibling’s sleep

It’s tempting to say, “Shh! You’ll wake the baby!” but this can create anxiety, resentment, or even resistance. Instead, acknowledge the challenge and redirect: “I know it’s hard to stay quiet when you’re still feeling silly. Let’s practice our quiet breathing while your sister falls asleep.”

Managing Early Risers

What if one child is up at 5:30 AM and the other would’ve slept until 7?

Options to add:

• OK to Wake clock for older toddlers or preschoolers. A visual helps teach that green means they can get up, and red means it’s still time to sleep or play quietly.

• Set up a morning basket with quiet toys, books, or puzzles they can do independently.

• Keep lighting low and sound machine on in the early morning hours to encourage longer sleep stretches.

If the baby is the early riser, let’s look at possible adjustments to their schedule to ensure that they are not overtired or getting too much day sleep, their first nap isn’t too early, and they’re getting the right amount of daytime sleep.

When Room Sharing Works… It Really Works

Once kids are used to sleeping in the same space, many families find it’s a sweet experience. It can foster sibling closeness, help children feel safer at bedtime, and build lifelong memories.

Here are signs room sharing is working:

• Both children are falling asleep within a reasonable time

• There’s minimal disruption from night wakings

• Everyone wakes up rested (most of the time, perfection is not the goal!)

• There’s a general sense of ease around bedtime routines

Sharing a room isn’t always smooth at first and that’s okay! There will be some ups and downs and with time, practice and small adjustments you will get in a consistent sleep pattern.

Remember even if your kids wake each other up, they need separate bedtimes, or if someone ends up in your bed occasionally you are doing a great job. Progress, not perfection, is the goal!

If sleep challenges persist, especially with night wakings or bedtime battles, let’s schedule a complimentary Discovery Call so that you can ask any questions you have, understand the process and so we can get more information on what is happening sleep wise.